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Ruffy
big booty So shrek was a good movie And then they made a bunch of games There’s way more than that But that’s all I own So here’s the first one Based on the first movie A launch title Exclusive to the original XBox Back in 2001 Well there’s a lot to take in here Firstly rated T for teen A game based on a kids movie 2nd All new enviroments Plus new characters designed by Todd Mcfarlane The guy who created SPAWN well Spawn was really popular at the time ANd had a big presence in video games here and there Fun fact In the super nintendo spawn game The very first level If you just stand still At the starting point A waterfall of enemies will jump towards you Miss and infenetly fall to their deaths Well let’s pop the shrek gae game in You know who I love That 1 revier that says Let’s pop this game in and he throws the game into the console in funny way You know the one I’m talking about Oh Wow this is one of those old video game Where you can play instantly without Having to sign up or instal anything Wow Who made this Dice Yeah The Battlefield Battle Front Mirrors Edge Dice Really And here we are at the title screen Off to a great start Let me type in my name in the streets they call me Shrek kill o niel Aw not enough letters The story mode does not follow the movie Instead the man in the mirror Tells you Merlin who appeared later in the 3rd movie Is terrorizing a village of color swapped clones Shrek must stop him by doing good deeds So that the fog barrier around his castle vanishes And then he must beat up merlin Okay Nonthing in this game feels like shrek Even down to the controls Shrek is a huge lumbering ogre yet he rivals the mightiest olimpiens In Sprinting I did not speed up the footage Look how fast this fucker books it He makes Sonic the HedgeHog look like Chronic the Hedgehog He’s going faster than Walt Flanigans dog And watch him pull donuts His speed compares to big rigs ogre the shrek racing Nut just for sprintng but juping He can wall jump off anything It’s redonkeyloss Shrek is unstoppable Now what else is shrek capable of farting and burping Tho if you get the chille peper power up You get exploding farts metal all shrek really needs are his own 2 hand You can pick people up and throw enemies Or just little chickens Yeah take that Kick em Kick em Fucker The big bad wolf pick him up Give em a kick in the real Little sheeps Kick them Bow peat Up agant the wall Gaurd your grill and knuckle up I must note no one dies in the game They just keep getting back up Truely an inspiration You can get this Disney Cinderella knock off Throw her into a fire place Have her perpetually burn to deaeth And continue to pumel her She won’t die but the pain is still there Is that not what hell is Eventually these guys get fed up And group together to kill you Oh waf fuck I’m sorry No please I didn’t mean it Ow Being a menace to society was fun But what’s the gameply like Think Mario 64 Pick a level to explor and choose one of several missions to complete Tranditioanly the first level of every platforming game Is always the happiest blue sky Green grass stage Before things get sereous I introduce you to shreks first non tootorial stage Wow this place fucking sucks Welcom to euro disney land kids This is where my animation dreams died ———————– Non of the enviroments Besides the swamp are from the film You got a farm area that’s nice A cramp dark castl interior A Dark cemetary A dark cramped sewer level A castle exterior oh thank god sunlight Other than Shrek His swamp and The man in the mirror nothing resembles the film No farquad Donkey Fionna I think you can see the dragon up there Instead you get Anime egg Disco Cow realistic giant spiders Realistic Giant rats Witch Egg realistic cocarach Fucking gross Whiches rats spiders They should have called this game This feels like one of those straight to video knock off fairy tale That sorta kinda looks official I wouldn’t be surpsided if The developers created some Dark Fairy tale game And last minute Paid for the lincence to use Shrek These missions on the other hand Are ether way too easy Or impossible Like this one Collect the golden eggs Sure Seems simple Just enter first stage Oh what the fuck Get over here you voodoo vince little shit Okay Collect the golden egs I got all but 1 That’s up there How do I get it How Hod dammit It doesn’t make sense What am I suppose to do Fuck Help me Dammit Save me jefferey katsenburg oh Thank Madoka How bou this one find the disco cow and fart on it Why Let me remind you The goal in this game Is to do Good Deeds The more good you do The more fog clears up Your missions are all titled Good Deeds How is farting on animals contributing to soecierty I heard cows are biggest producers of green house gasses for their bodily functions So maybe this is eviromentelist revenge Yeah Lets see how you like it you damn cow Destroy the ozone layer will you This ones for al gore We can title this game 100 good deeds of Shrek Does anyone remember that show 100 good deed of Eddie Mcdow? Let me talk about this for a second This early 2000s nickelodeon show Where Seth Green played a bully Until a wizard turned him into a dog And he has to do 100 good deeds to be human again Which is such a ridiculous cocept Like really Seth Green playing a bully If your being bullied by Seth Green Game Over You might as be getting bullied by Glass Joe But back to shrek Here’s a weird mission Humpty Dupty kidnapping Mother Gooses eggs And is teaching them how to fall down and potentially die That’s fucked up Hypty Dumpty did appear in the movies 10 years later in the spin off Puss in Boots But also in other Shrek games Heres how humpty looks in the fighting game SHrek Super slam Oh ohhhh no That’s a little racist in here Ohhh dear Dumpty in this game doesn’t look too threatening Aw what the fuck You wanna go YOU WANNA GO Yeah mess with me You mess with my swamp Yeah fucking take it Yeahhhh breath it in Some missions you’ll be Collecting the same things Example these faries Ehhh But many challenges Require picking up and moving characters It’s tricky You can hold certain enemies for seconds Without them doing damage to you It doesn’t help the levels are populated with villians who you can’t kill You can’t kill anyone in this game They just keep going after you Why not Would the game get an M rating Had you been able to kill enemies Mario can kill enemies There’s T rated video games Where you can kill enemies in more violent ways The wrost being this one where you have to Toss prisonders through a window Breaking out potentially voilent criminals Sure that’s sounds like a good deed It wouldn’t be so bad But you can’t aim the camera upwards while gaining momentum It’s freaking impossible Whyyy Whhyyyy Just let them fly through window if you really want a challenge You got Race mode It’s the same missions But with a time limit Like less than a minute You have no breathing room To mess up You can’t call yourself a shekspert Until complete the challege We should be playing these in tournaments Who the fastest Sheqer arround This game really had potential to be great As out of place is it is I like the speed and jumping But stages are eather not interesting Or way too cramped and dark While the missions weren’t thoguht out properly You have to give it credit tho In 2001 this was praised for it’s graphic capablities 3d Bump maping textures That responded to different lighting Real time dynamic shadows If you zoom into shrek His sleeves have a fabrick texture With how cartoonish shrek is And realistic the enviroments try to be This game looks like a Skyrim mod with Shrek in it It’s weirdly unsettling New levels Oh and cutscenes Now Shrek does not speak in this game Besides a few grunts So alll the cutscenes are just shrek Standing their with zero intrest Oh, what about the damn fish? So, this fish is one of the 0.5-dimensional characters of this awful film. The hypocritical Oogieloves decided to drag him along despite telling J. Edgar he would slow them down. Category:Characters Category:Male Characters